Maybe it’s redundant and been said too much, but I still miss him. I miss him each day and wish I could share him, the real living him, with my world. Mostly my family because no matter how much I try and talk about him or keep his memory alive, it seems no one really cares. That’s what happens when someone dies before anyone ever got a chance to meet them. They don’t really exist and this hurts more than anything.
Recently I was reading a book to my daughter, The War I Finally Won, by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley. This is a sequel to the first one, The War that Saved my Life. They were both fantastic books that I highly recommend. They are set in Britain during WWII but were a different twist and perspective that I had not read before. I do love historical novels based during this time period, so it was interesting to read one from this new outlook.
This sequel caught me off guard though. It caused me to cry, sob actually, during a part of the book that so accurately explained why/how these emotions happen. The character in the book was suffering from grief that had just happened, but I was crying from a loss almost 22 years old. The excerpt from the book is below. I am not sure if this author lost someone close to her at some point in her life, like a parent or child, but the description of how it affects a person was spot on; in my opinion…..
This sadness continues to catch me off guard. Reading this caught my by surprise and made me weep; my 10 year old daughter didn’t understand the pain I was feeling. She wanted me to just stop and get over it of course. Another moment in time that shows how until one experiences it, no one truly “gets it.”
Winter time is the most difficult because it keeps me pent up, lacking the daily sunshine I need to feel happier, holidays are stressful at times, and there is still something missing that I will never get back. He’s not here to tell me, “Everything will be alright!” I could really use a hug from him and to hear these words again.
I’m so grateful for those of you who have read about him and have, by reading and following this blog, given some of his life back to me; just simply knowing he is out there in some form or another. Some events in our lives will always be a part of us, no matter what. Remember that when you see your fellow humans in this world. They may have a pain, throbbing inside, that affects them in ways we just can’t quite understand. Be kind, be compassionate, and write, so others CAN understand that they are not alone!